Last night, in South Carolina, a well-know and well-loved Pastor was assassinated in his own church along with eight of his brethren, four of them also pastors. Last night here in Tucson, at about the same time, my son, anxious to jumpstart his ministry by starting to preach his truths, in my living room, with just me listening, practiced his first sermon to be given at his childhood Methodist church this coming Sunday.
Listening to my son’s passion roar off the page, I could not
help wondering, for the bazillionth time, exactly why my son has received what
the Christian world names a Call, why he is one who has to carry the burden of
so many others’ inability to see poverty for the collective sin that it is, who
are complacent about institutional injustice, who live to exclude others from
their private, safe little clubs of Christianity or Islam or just about any
other organized religion I could name.
As a Taoist, I’ve always had a struggle with the whole
notion of a ‘Call’. My spiritual world is not one of a god that looks like us
imperfect humans and issues commands to do this or do that from a fluffy white
cloud somewhere ‘up there’. Taoists are pretty safe from Calls. How can one be ‘called’
by a force that exists mainly as a way of living in concert with the cosmos? Living
in concert with the cosmos is sufficient (and very, very difficult for me) in
my spiritual world. But my son’s need to become a minister is so strong, to do anything
else is obviously the WRONG CHOICE. So how to reconcile my son’s obvious Call
with my world? Even using the filter of my Taoism, I can see that doing
anything else is moving away from rather into the Way.
I’ve struggled with that but I think I resolved that one a
few Sundays ago at the very early contemplative service I attend whenever I’m
in town. Pastor Jim’s message was about what we are called to do as Christians
(any time he says Christians, I just insert Taoist in my head), about living
our faith. It started me thinking about the notion that one might not be called
so much by but called to. That made so much more sense to me.
But unfortunately, when it comes to how this works for my
son, this is really bad news. I never really believed a Higher Power would swoop
down and shame my son into becoming a minister. It was comforting to believe that
this whole becoming a minister thing would have its natural life and he would
go on to become a history teacher or the mayor of some pleasant mountain town in
Montana. But if this whole thing is about being drawn TO something rather than being
dictated to do so from outside self, the direction of Force and the response to
the Way is vastly different. Being called TO is much, much more imperative than being
called BY. If someone feels deeply moved from within themselves to do
everything they can to bring people to the well of peace some people call God,
I just don’t think it is as easy to say “Yeah, about that. Yeah, maybe
tomorrow.”
So back to the events of last night in South Carolina. Since
Dan announced he needs to become a minister, I have paid more attention to news
about leaders of faith being threatened or worse. I’m somewhat familiar with
what happens to most prophets; they don’t live easy lives and are sometimes
tortured or killed by the powers that don’t want to be reminded that power generally
moves them away from the Way. Jesus is a prime example of a prophet tried and
killed for the sin of standing up for justice and truth rather than the status
quo and really nice temples.
I don’t know if the Pastor in Charleston was killed because
the white supremacist blamed him as a Christian or a Minister or a Black man. I
do know that Pastor Pinckney felt called to ministry at a very young age. And I
just know in my heart that Pastor Pinckney was professing his truths right up
the moment the bullets pierced his flesh. That’s what people who are called TO ministry
do. And that sometimes keeps me awake long into the night.
